Parkers Punish Trinity

Old Trinity Grammarians 2 – 7 Middle Park

The Parkers returned to winning ways, and the top of the league, by routing a Old Trinity.  Chris Stevenson returned to the side following his Red Cross mission in Sudan, Prince Harry lover Luke Osland missed the game due Royal Wedding addiction and shamed ex captain Ally Cook made it to the game in the nick of time following his performance as Jimmy Somerville in the new theatre production “Bronski Beatz”, now showing in Prahran.

Before the game, Nigel Buckfast stressed the importance of keeping another clean sheet… we think. No one could really understand him.  The Parkers took a hold on the game early on with two good goals. Bulldog Loftus swung in a perfect cross for the Great Dane to power through a group of bodies and slam home a header from 8 yards. The Mediator came into the middle, found time on the ball and hit a low drive to the far corner to double the score. The away side became a bit ragged at times and conceded a fortunate goal late in the second half when a cross from near the touchline sailed over Brian’s head into the net.  2-1 at half time.

The late goal had given the hosts a lift and the Parkers were uncharacteristically agitated.  After 15 minutes in the shade, the Parkers started the second half in impressive fashion, cutting through the Trinity midfield at will. It took only four minutes to extend the lead- Captain Donlevy fed Stevenson down the right, he beat his man and hit an unstoppable stop into the top left corner of the net, a la Tony Yeboah.  Parkers sealed the game when Hulk Hogan powerfully held off three defenders, turned and scrambled a shot home from inside the six yard box. His first double since playing for Strømsgodsetunder 15′s in 1986.

Club legend Mickey ‘the magician’ Furness tewaked a hamstring and was replaced by Tiddy, with Gav replacing Wayne at right back. The home side pushed three up front, including bringing on a buffed striker in a tight lycra playing shirt. Before tackling him, Kev swapped notes on Steroid suppliers as the two marvelled at each other’s guns.  More goals were to come- Stevenson cut in from the right and jinked through the defence, George Kinkladze-esque before sliding the ball past the keeper. The housewives favourite then made it three- a hat-trick, a perfect hat-trick, with a towering header following a rebound from a corner. The defenders wept.  In the dying minutes, a deep cross from the right was not collected by the keeper, allowing George to sweep home a deserved goal.  Trinitty scored a second, but I don’t really remember when- somewhere in between the five second half goals.

The Parker’s procession continues, and they are now joint top with Collingwood but have a far superior goal difference.  The boys were disappointed to concede such soft goals but for the majority of the game, displayed what great football they can play.

MPFC: B Donlevy, Loftus, Mullen, Cook, Helena, Furness, M Donlevy (Cpt), Hogan, Meade, McKenna, Stevenson. SUBS: Cremming, Tidd

Goals: Hogan (15, 67), Meade (22), Stevenson (49, 79, 87), McKenna (84).

Att: 36